The Illusion of Connection

The Illusion of Connection

By Lori Severson


Image courtesy of Grant Cochrane at

“You have lost connection.”  These are the words I heard walking away from my desk recently —forgetting that I had my Bluetooth headset still in my ear.

For a minute I was startled, then I had to laugh.  The voice was right.  I have been too attached to my desk, email, and the thinking swirl in my head.  I spend much of my time “doing.”  Neglecting the “being” world is my Achilles heel.  Being on my computer or my smart phone IS connected and productive, right?

This is the illusion of connection.  Doing, doing, doing is how we believe we need to spend most of our time. Our fast-paced world would like us to think our communication can be mostly electronic.  While our devices create threads of communication, contributing to a sense of connection, the connection I’m talking about is different.  It’s of the human kind.  And it’s not just about doing.

There is no replacement for human connections.  There is something about being there in person that can’t be replaced 100% by technology.  I can see a picture or painting of the Grand Canyon, but the beauty and power of this natural wonder cannot be fully realized unless you are THERE, live and in person, perceiving the depth and vastness inherent in its presence.  It’s really not that different with people.  Each of us houses a deep well of intellect, heart, and personal presence that can’t be fully replicated by technology.  The full experience of another is available only in a person-to-person connection.

Coaching Tip

How do you start to build these stronger connections?

At work:

  • Schedule a 10-minute walk as part of your work day to clear and focus your mind.
  • Schedule 30 minutes to one hour of strategic reflection time weekly on your calendar.
  • Schedule a connection break with an important person at work at least twice a week.

At home:

  • Turn off your all your electronic devices and pay attention, really pay attention to your spouse or children for 30 minutes each day.

About the Author

Lori Severson

Lori’s specialty is the interpersonal side of business. If you want the secret decoder ring for effective communication, she can help. She connects leaders to their own intelligence unlocking powerful communication. Call her at 480-227-0904, or via email at Find out more at